An Update on My Dad

A few of you may not know that my father is no longer living
with us.
Last week, John and I made the decision to place Dad into full- time care at a local assisted living facility. The establishment is actually located in our neighborhood, and is less than one mile from our home. Dad moved in on Monday.
My dad had taken several serious falls in our home since he moved in last April. As the falls became more frequent, (on the average of three times/week), it became very evident that it was not safe for him to continue to live here. Although this was a difficult decision to make, the Lord has made the transition smooth and quick for all of us.
Please continue to pray for my Dad, in particular that his relationship with the Lord would deepen in these last days/years of his life.
John and I have been amazed at the numerous people who have helped us throughout the last eight months. Beyond family, our church has been a regular source of encouragement, service, and means of grace to us during this season. Thank you all so much for your prayers, your council, and your care for Dad and our children. (Several families in our church rotated babysitting/eldercare in order for me and John to continue having "date nights" and to attend important meetings while Dad was living with us.)
We love you all and appreciate you more than you know.

Going for a Ride

Lauren loves her Grandpa. Every morning and after her nap she runs to greet him, "Hi, Grandpa!"

After this ride in his lift chair, the two of them sat together and read books while chewing on toothpicks, like two peas in a pod.

My Family

Ever since my father moved in with us, I have been marveling at the many kindnesses shown to me through my family and my church.  Today, I wanted to take some time to thank God for one of the greatest gifts He gave me...eight brothers and sisters.

Let me introduce you:

(Back L to R): My beloved Mother, Dad, Kath, Pat, Mike, Ellen, and Lori. 

(Front L to R): Chris, Rich, Gail, and Me.

Since my Father's fall, my family has rallied together to support and care for him in many ways: visits, meals, cleaning, phone calls, taking care of his bills, overseeing his medical care, managing his house and car, packing, organizing, encouraging and praying... just to name a few. John and I have benefitted from their care as well. 

When John and I made the decision to have Dad live with us, all more-than-one of my siblings expressed concern about strain it would put on our already-extraordinarily-busy-household. However, knowing the alternative was much less desirable (nursing home), they have been supportive and looked for ways to care for us in the process. 

For example, Dad's freezer is full of approximately 40 home-cooked meals provided by my sisters. Dad chooses one almost every day for lunch. (Just heat and serve!) Better yet, on occasion, they provide a meal large enough to feed all of us!

Here is the "Menu" I printed for him today:

15 Bean Soup

BBQ

Beef Broccoli

Beef Stew

Beef Stir Fry

Beef Tips

Black-eyed Pea Soup

Chicken Cacciatori

(3) Chicken and Rice Soup

Chili

Coq Au Vin

(2) Company Beef Stew

(2) Cranberry Chicken

Manhattan Clam Chowder

Honey Mustard Chicken 

(3) Italian Beef Soup

(3) Meat Loaf

Pepper Steak

(2) Pot roast

Roast Beef

Roast Pork

Red Beans

(2) Sloppy Joes

Stan's Ribs

Steak and Potato Soup

(2) Stuffed Shells

(3) Sweet and Sour Pork

Veal Marsala

Several family members have gone above and beyond what we could have imagined by creatively thinking of ways to bless us while we care for Dad.  Providing respite, whether by spending an afternoon or evening out with Dad has been an enormous means of grace to us all. My brother, Chris, even surprised me by organizing a family calendar arranging weekly respite for us, and time for each of them to spend with Dad. My dear sister-in-law, Lisa, is regularly planning events with the children, including taking them to the zoo, out for a movie and dinner, Carowinds or overnights in the mountains.  Another sister, recently asked to bring Alyssa with her to Disney!  (Shhh...Alyssa doesn't know about this yet.) Pat has helped tremendously with Dad's medical needs, researching and ordering equipment, talking with doctors...and reassuring me! EVERYONE has called or sent notes encouraging me and John in our efforts to care for my Dad. 

I simply do not know what I would do without my family. Each of my siblings are uniquely wonderful and so dear to me. I'm so thankful to call them "mine". 

Thank you, Kathleen, Pat, Mike, Ellen, Lori, Chris, Rich and Gail for the many ways you each have cared for me and my family over the last two months. Mom would be so proud. I'm so thankful the Lord has entwined our lives together.   

The Toothfairy Has Been Replaced!

Loose teeth are not uncommon in our home. Thursday, Alyssa lost a tooth, and after announcing her accomplishment she was generously rewarded $5 from her Grandpa!
As soon as Spencer recognized this lucrative opportunity, he began fervently wiggling one of his own loose teeth.
This particular tooth had already proved to be quite delinquent in its removal. (After all, Spencer is eight years old and has only lost two of his baby teeth so far!) Alyssa, observing the situation, offered her services to her baby brother. After much deliberation, Spencer acquiesced and allowed the young dental assistant to wrap his tooth in a paper towel and yank it right out of his mouth! (OUCH!)

Conclusions:
1) Kids will do anything for money.
2) Grandparents are going to put the Tooth Fairy out of business. ($10 in one day for teeth! How can we ...errr... the Tooth Fairy ever measure up to such compensations?!)

Mr. Putter and My Dad

"It was fall, and juicy things were growing in Mr. Putter's backyard. Juicy apples, juicy tomatoes, juicy pears.
Mr. Putter walked with his fine cat, Tabby, among the juicy things, and he dreamed. He dreamed of apple pie and apple turnovers. He dreamed of hot apple cider with a cinnamon
stick, and stuffed red tomatoes.
But most of all, he dreamed of pear jelly. Mr. Putter loved pear jelly. He had loved it since he was a boy. Fall was his favorite season because of pear jelly.
And now it was time. "Tabby," said Mr. Putter, "it is time to
pick the pears."
Tabby loved when Mr. Putter said it was time to do something. She was old, but she still liked excitement. She followed
Mr. Putter into the garage, where he found a ladder for pear picking. Then they went to the backyard–where all the
excitement was."

"Mr. Putter had a problem. It was a ladder problem. Mr. Putter set his ladder against the pear tree. But he couldn't get up the ladder. Last year he got up the ladder. But this year he had cranky legs. Cranky legs, cranky knees, cranky feet.
He stepped onto the ladder, and his legs were so cranky he
had to get right off again. "One trouble with being old," said
Mr. Putter, "is being cranky." Tabby knew what he meant.
She had a cranky tail. Some days it was so cranky it wouldn't swish. It just stuck in the air like a stick. Cranky legs and
cranky tails are no fun when you're old. Especially if you
want pear jelly."....

For those of you who've never heard of Mr. Putter, buy them here. (I'm sure you'll want to find out how Mr. Putter manages to get his pears in spite of his cranky knees!) And please pray for my Dad's cranky knees while you're at it!

Speaking of my Dad, I figured it was time for an update.

After spending the last five weeks in two different hospitals,
my Dad was admitted into a local nursing home for continued therapy on his "cranky knees". As he has been steadily progressing, John and I have been talking with contractors, moving furniture, researching medical equipment, and even attending assorted therapies with my Dad in preparation for him to come live with us.
As I mentioned when my Father fell, it had become evident Dad will no longer be able to live on his own. However, over the last several months God had been preparing our hearts to welcome my Dad here. Back in December we seriously considered buying a larger, basement home in order to accommodate him, but have been unable to find the "perfect" house. As a result, we have decided to expand our own home, adding a 10x12 sitting room to the guest bedroom, and a private deck, swimming pool and jacuzzi to the back.
That being said, there still are a number of things that intimidate me as I contemplate caring for my Father in his old age, and even more things that tempt me to anxiety about having another human in this household. Yet, we are in faith to proceed.
Please pray for continued progress in my Father's health, strength in his "cranky" knees, legs and feet; and a complete recovery from the set backs he's been experiencing (his speech is not fully recovered, his right side is still significantly weakened, and he's having difficulty swallowing thin liquids). Also, I'd like to ask you to pray for emotional endurance and perseverance for him. Being in a nursing home is a depressing atmosphere and is sure to affect his countenance.
John and I would also appreciate your prayers! Prayers for wisdom in the many discussions and decisions having to be made; prayers for the provision of caretakers while we are
away or have meetings to attend; prayers for a speedy home expansion for Dad's comfort; and a smooth transition for all
of us into this new season of life.
Dad is scheduled to come home in about three weeks.
Thanks for praying!

I Love You, Dad

Today I would like to honor one of the people who has shaped me into who I am.  

Each of you know how dear my Mother is to me, if not by knowing me through the years, certainly by my recent focus of her on her birthday.  You know I would credit my Mother for much of what I am today.  It was her example in many ways that made me cherish being a wife and a mother, and next to being a Christian, there is no other priority higher than these two things in my life. But my Mom did not contribute to my life alone, in fact, apart from the extravagant devotion of her loving husband, I know she would not have been able to care for nine children in the way that she did.   

My Dad was dedicated to his wife and his children. Working long hours for years as a Professional Engineer, he was a successful man, and yet refused several times to move his family to a city or state that would not be conducive for raising a family.  For years, my Dad literally traveled two hours (both ways) by train to work,  so my family could be raised at the beach instead of in New York.  After relocating to Charlotte, he eventually resigned from a prosperous company in order to keep his family down south.  

Beyond being a hard worker, my Dad was/is a family man. Fishing, hiking and camping trips were not unusual occurrences. Dad loved to take the kids off Mom's hands for an outdoor excursion.  He also cheered us on at sports, taught us how to ice skate, celebrated and encouraged our talents, and entertained us on vacations. Dad enjoyed the children, singing songs, telling jokes and playing games were a way of life for our family.  He didn't mind giving the baby a bottle, or getting up at night with an infant so Mom could rest.  At times, he even tried to help out in the kitchen, but Mom wouldn't have that!

However, what I respect the most about my Dad, besides his loving, consistent care for his family was his unceasing love for my Mother. There was nobody that compared to his beautiful bride. My Mom was loved well. Regularly lavishing gifts, flowers, and cards upon her, as well as highly commending her in front of others, Mom knew he was smitten. 

It has been difficult seeing my Dad's heart broken. No one in my family has felt the sting of Mom's death quite like my Dad, and that is saying a lot, as dear as she was to all of us.

Since Mom died, I have seen a new side to my Dad.  A humility, dependency and thankfulness towards the Lord that has sharpened me.  I am challenged by it.  His mind is on eternal things, and I respect him for that. He is looking forward to seeing his Beloved, yet more and more I believe his "Beloved" is not his wife, but His Savior.

Less than one year ago, my Dad moved into our neighborhood. I am so thankful to have him so near to me now.  We usually see him at least once a week. He is often over for dinner, and to play a game with us and the kids. Now, he lavishes us with gifts and love, rarely coming over with empty hands.  He is always thankful to be with family.  What I'd like my Dad to know, however, is that we are thankful also for him.  For his presence, for his laughter, for his thoughtfulness, for his kindness, for his love.  I love you, Dad.